How The Internet Works, According to Dad

Around Mother’s Day, we read a blog over on Moz.com about how Rob Toledo’s mom thinks search engines works. We decided we would have our own turn with Father’s Day right around the corner. Let’s face it — here at COCG, our staff is nothing short of brilliant and amazing, so by default our dads are as well!

In this industry, we are constantly inundated with the latest and greatest industry jargon, and we tend to forget that just because we live, eat, and breathe hear it every day, that doesn’t mean the rest of the world speaks our geek language understands what we mean.

We promised our dads we would give them their anonymity, but it was very interesting to see how surprisingly tech savvy some of them are, while others are a little behind the times.

Here are the 5 questions we asked — ranging from pretty easy to a bit more difficult — and their answers.

What is an Internet Browser?

“A program that allows you to use and browse the Internet. Like Internet Explorer, Chrome, Godzilla?”

(We know he meant Mozilla Firefox, but we love the mental image of Godzilla sitting in front of a computer wreaking havoc on the internet.)

Honorable mentions go to:

“It’s the thing I click on my laptop or phone to go find the answers to all of my questions – it helps me find stuff.”

What is a URL?

“An address of a website,” was the most common answer.

Honorable mentions go to:

“URL is some sort of urinary tract infection treatable with antibiotics.”

“Uh, its a URL something list, (asks wife), Universal Relay Listing? I don’t know!”  

Name one other social media network besides Facebook or Twitter.

In an almost a 50-50 split, we were impressed with some of our dads’ awareness of LinkedIn, but slightly disturbed by some of them referencing MySpace. Is there a future MySpace comeback that we don’t know about?

Honorable mentions go to:

“Twitter is number one, I don’t think there’s another one. Is LinkedIn a social network? How about Instagram? I’ve heard of those before.”

“Hang on, let me think… Skype or Google Chat.”

This is where it gets dramatically harder, and the answers start to become more creative. Surprisingly, some of our dads are as close to on-point as we could ask for.

What are 3 factors that contribute to a search engine’s organic ranking of a web page?

“The web page address, initial content (first words to come on the web page) and language unique to the web page.”

Honorable mentions go to:

“I’m not sure what organic rankings are, but I would assume its what makes the engine sort the results. So, if thats what that is, my answers would be: keywords, search history and age of the person doing the search.”

If you were trying to make a hardware store located in Raleigh rank #1 in Google searches similar to “Raleigh hardware,” what steps would you take?

“I’d hire you guys! You know, a search optimizer.”

“I would hire my son and his buddies at COCG!”

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves… well, yes we could, but we appreciate the faith all of our dads have in our abilities. COCG wishes all of our dads and yours a very Happy Father’s Day!